Donnerstag, 16. August 2018

Broken english

word kicked me near the highway. it sounds loud. i remember longview grace hill crape myrtle bushes very tall and coulerfull red. i lay the stone under a beautiful tall tree. like an egg. in the nest. the headstone wasnt found. i look for fahthers name three times that day. it was hot. yesterday arrived. long fly to dallas. rent a car. it jumped up under my feets. i couldnt ride it. an i try and try. i had forgot only one feet for driving. we arrived longview late in the darkness. i fall on my bed and feel bad. wet towl on my head and wash me up. i feel better and sleep. i saw a hairy shoe tonight and very thin legs it s a climbing insect very slowly dark violett and green like may. forgetten. its difficult to find words for that imaginantion, more than pictures is it, it flow away in a moment, not to catch, first i lost these picture and now i cant imagination these word. under the door a strong strike of sunlight, a shadow between. like a person that stand before and want to hear very quiet all that. i know when i open i can see what it is. i doesnt need it. i am sure there is the sealing and behind crossover the place in the heat the sun is high. i will go. i am not sad. i try to feel sadness. no black dress also. its more like a hunt. no not a hunt. i cannt remeber realy what happend with me. i want to do it wright. never i run. so i go slowly cross the street at the corner after waiting for green light. green light are hanging high over the street. i wait and then i make a few steps faster. calm down boy. there is no entry. back to the street and along until i get an open way to come in. the singing bird is sitting on the headstone. i am wondering. what a crazy life calls there to me. quit on the ground and glory sounds over it. hi, i am here i want to give all my love to you. i cant find you but the bird let me feel that it is right. you arnt longer here, you arnt here since the moment they gave you under the ground and put the hole with the same earth they take out. i love you dad i love you. its your miracel in company that i am here and so even like you. i see you when i look the bleckandwhite photos my sisters gave me. they said i do sounds like you. a moment please that cant close my wound it make it deeper. never i will tell it to you dear sisters. at yet i am start this trip trough simolar times and an other area that is parkville an piece of hartford where my sisters grown up ans i wasnt there. i had mine here in germany. i think i will do something like a collage, ore pantience, tarot, other plays to find out whats the difference and wht ist equal. i am sure much is equal. the most fotos make the fathers, because they arnt often to see. i imagination these.    






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