Von meinem Samsung Gerät gesendet.
Sonntag, 19. August 2018
word kicked me near the highway. it sounds loud. i remember longview grace hill crape myrtle bushes very tall and coulerfull red. i lay the stone under a beautiful tall tree. like an egg. in the nest. the headstone wasnt found. i look for fahthers name three times that day. it was hot. yesterday arrived. long fly to dallas. rent a car. it jumped up under my feets. i couldnt ride it. an i try and try. i had forgot only one feet for driving. we arrived longview late in the darkness. i fall on my bed and feel bad. wet towl on my head and wash me up. i feel better and sleep. i saw a hairy shoe tonight and very thin legs it s a climbing insect very slowly dark violett and green like may. forgetten. its difficult to find words for that imaginantion, more than pictures is it, it flow away in a moment, not to catch, first i lost these picture and now i cant imagination these word. under the door a strong strike of sunlight, a shadow between. like a person that stand before and want to hear very quiet all that. i know when i open i can see what it is. i doesnt need it. i am sure there is the sealing and behind crossover the place in the heat the sun is high. i will go. i am not sad. i try to feel sadness. no black dress also. its more like a hunt. no not a hunt. i cannt remeber realy what happend with me. i want to do it wright. never i run. so i go slowly cross the street at the corner after waiting for green light. green light are hanging high over the street. i wait and then i make a few steps faster. calm down boy. there is no entry. back to the street and along until i get an open way to come in. the singing bird is sitting on the headstone. i am wondering. what a crazy life calls there to me. quit on the ground and glory sounds over it. hi, i am here i want to give all my love to you. i cant find you but the bird let me feel that it is right. you arnt longer here, you arnt here since the moment they gave you under the ground and put the hole with the same earth they take out. i love you dad i love you. its your miracel in company that i am here and so even like you. i see you when i look the bleckandwhite photos my sisters gave me. they said i do sounds like you. a moment please that cant close my wound it make it deeper. never i will tell it to you dear sisters. at yet i am start this trip trough simolar times and an other area that is parkville an piece of hartford where my sisters grown up ans i wasnt there. i had mine here in germany. i think i will do something like a collage, ore pantience, tarot, other plays to find out whats the difference and wht ist equal. i am sure much is equal. the most fotos make the fathers, because they arnt often to see. i imagination these. a sound water swapped a jump around listen callwd a bird ore groundes a chlakpiece a crie must be never it enden with silence now the graund is over with snow yes my old good friend i say it it is covered with whitw snow and then a fewe hours latere dirthy but its good annf for a round snowballl fieres on me laughter in the heathstreet when grandma shot. later we had tea in the house. it near by dedcember and we hope all the teinme in the snow make us a little bit more humbeled to find the way under the tree. big eyes and glittering scenes up the moment it rings. we started to behold that moment for ever to get gifts from another world we are in your hands and our joy let it unbelived so we are happy without your grace you looked at us what we will do with all these things you gave us to accept for an wished gift. oh daddy thank you for this and a kiss for mammy. after the scene mostly tears. alone in the pillow and darkness until morning. church going. i seeee on the photo this christmas tree made with silver brunches where is the taste dont mention your eyes are astonished from this glitter. my dear. i am feeel so sed. what for an awful waiting for this green tree in the same room were i stand all the time and look in this sad around. the closed door this evinening closed me for one year more and i want get out far from this.